LNHCP #26: It's All In The Timing Part One.
The Continued MisAdventures of Bad-Timing Boy.
"If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all."
- "Born Under A Bad Sign" - ?
It was a normal day at LNHHQ; birds were singing, Guitar Man was driving them
away with his practice, Master Blaster and DoomMonger were shooting things,
Decibel Dude was having crisis's (crises?), Sing-Along Lass was singing,
Fan.Boy was irritating people, Writers Block Woman was shopping, Mouse was
making snide comments... basically everyone was doing their normal LNH
lifestyle things. But peacefully. Well, almost peacefully, if you discount
the noise from the birds chirping, S-A Lass's singing, GM's 'music', the
bullet shots and personal nervous breakdowns, but that's not important right
now. What was important was that everyone was getting along with the things
that make them work. And it was peaceful (um) and calming (er) and normal
(uh). Right up until a solitary figure walked into this calm and peace (sort
of). Bad-Timing Boy was looking for some lunch.
***
Somewhere Else:
"Are you sure that the disturbance is coming from this place?"
A beautifully manicured red fingernail tapped a screen, which was showing a
picture of LNHHQ.
"Positively, the readings have been checked and double-checked. This is the
place."
"But it looks so, so _peaceful_."
"Peaceful?" A hand turned the volume up: "Argh! No! No! I didn't do it, it
wasn't me! Aaaah!" "Oooohh, *guitar solo*.." "Row row row your boat!" "I
am NOT carrying that thing up those stairs." "BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM..." "But
don't you think that...?"
"Okay okay I get the picture already!" The volume was switched off.
"Are you ready to leave?"
"Whenever you tell me oh Sorcerix."
"Then go, and succeed in your mission."
"I will."
***
Bad-Timing Boy opened the door to his room, treading jauntily he stepped out
just in time to catch a shower of confetti in the face.
"Gah!" he said, stumbling slightly and taking a step forward... on to an
orange... With a yell he slid down the corridor and crashed into someone
else before finally coming to a halt as he impacted into a wall.
"Oof!" he said.
"Geez, sorry B-TB, we didn't see you there." said someone.
"We were just practicing our powers." said a female voice.
Bad-Timing Boy wiped the confetti out of his face, "Who the...? Kid
Confetti and Citrus Girl?"
"That's Kid _Citrus_ and _Confetti_ Girl." said KC through gritted teeth.
"Oh, I thought you two were off at school or something."
"Not right now." said Confetti Girl.
"Bad-Timing Boy, will you GET OFF ME NOW OR DO I HAVE TO RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT?!"
B-TB got a look at who he'd crashed into, "Uh, oops. Sorry Fuzzy." He
clambered off the net heroine, "Hey, what's with the cake?"
Fuzzy had evidentally been carrying a cake with her. It was currently smeared
all over the floor and Fuzzy. She frantically tried to shush him, but too
late. A door opened in the corridor, "What's going on?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" she said quickly.
"But why are you carrying a cake around?" asked B-TB plaintively.
"A cake?" Bandwagon Chick came out of her room.
"And what's this?" Bad-Timing Boy picked up a card that lay in the midst of
the confection, "To Bandwagon Chick on her birthday? Surprise!"
"You _idiot_," snarled Fuzzy, grabbing the card. Bandwagon Chick looked
surprised but pleased, "You remembered my birthday? And you made me a cake?"
She took a few steps forward and then noticed the mess all over the floor.
"Oh no!"
"Oh, heck. I'm sorry Fuzzy, Bandwagon Chick, I'll make it up to you!" B-TB
promised.
"Just give it up! Leave us alone!" snarled Fuzzy, walking into Bandwagon
Chicks room.
Turning around, B-TB met the accusing eyes of Kid Citrus and Confetti Girl.
Without a word they stomped off.
"But... I didn't mean to..." he said.
"BAD-TIMING BOY! Is this _your_ mess?" came a well-projected tense, yet
at peace, voice from behind him. B-TB jumped and looked around.
"Ultimate Ninja, well you see I, that is..."
With a sigh the Ninja waved his excuse away, "I don't want to hear it.
Clean it up."
"Yessir." said B-TB miserably. It was definitely not one of his better days
he thought to himself as he went to fetch a mop.
***
The figure stared at LNHHQ, the site of the disturbance. She checked a small
tricorder-looking machine, which had the same sort of functions but looked
more impressive and beeped like a Mac.
"The readings are very high. Another surge just then. I hope the people back
home are managing."
***
Back Home (also Somewhere Else):
"That was a bad one. More surges like that and we won't be able to cope!"
"I hope that she can get the mission done."
"If anyone can, it will be her."
***
LNHHQ, the cafeteria:
Bad-Timing Boy poked morosely at his cheesecake. It was a typical bad timing
day for him again, sighing he stared out the window.
"So, are you going to eat that or what?"
"Oh, hi Cheesecake Eater Lad. I don't know, I'm not very hungry right now."
"Not hungry? For _cheesecake_?" said the master of cheesecakes incredulously.
"Well, you know some people do get by without cheesecake. Especially bacon
and egg flavoured ones." said B-TB unwisely.
"How can you say such a thing?!" Cheesecake Eater Lad stormed off. Bad-Timing
Boy tried to call after him but he wasn't listening. Bad-Timing Boy slumped
down into dejection again. Just as he was about to give in to a huge bout
of angst his spine suddenly stiffened - why should he just sit there and
be depressed? He'd just go out to the kitchen, apologise politely to
Cheesecake Eater Lad, and then ask him to make a birthday cheesecake for
Bandwagon Chick.
Cheered by this thought, Bad-Timing Boy walked through the swinging doors to
the kitchen.
"Cheesecake Eater Lad, I've come to apologise. I think your cheesecakes are
truly delicious." he announced. Total silence. Bad-Timing Boy looked around.
The kitchen was empty. There was a stick-it note stuck to the fridge
announcing that Steak-and-Potatoes Man and Frat Boy had gone to a barbecue
in Alt.stralia and wouldn't be back for a week, but no C-E Lad.
"Cheesecake Eater Lad?" asked B-TB, "You there?" He tilted his head and heard
a faint beeping, as though from a Mac. He looked around the corner.
Cheesecake Eater Lad had been knocked out and was lying unconcious on the
floor. Standing over him was a young woman, she seemed to be scanning him for
something.
"Er, can I help you?" asked B-TB. The girl looked up with a jerk and
pointed the scanner at him. It emitted a loud screech. She smiled and
tucked it into her belt. Then she stepped forward into the light.
Bad-Timing Boy gasped, she was one of the most beautiful females he'd ever
seen. Her red hair cascaded down her back and her blue eyes sparkled
through her elaborate face mask. She was quite young, probably about his
own age, Bad-Timing Boy guessed. Her figure was excellent and was wrapped up
in small parts of body armour (wrist guards, arm guards etc) and very little
else. She took another step forward, pulling a sword from the sheath by her
side.
"I think you might be able to help me." she said.
Bad-Timing Boy's jaw dropped, even her voice was beautiful. "Gah... I
mean... sure, uh. My name's Bad-Timing Boy, but you can call me slave... I
mean.." he stammered, "Um, I'm a member of the Legion of Net.heros, and
we're always willing to help. What can I do for you? Fight villains? Battle
blackguards? Save the world?"
"Die." she said, smiling sweetly.
"Or I could die yes." said B-TB, absolutely stunned. Suddenly the words
filtered through to his conciousness.
"Die, you say?" he asked.
"That's right." she replied.
"Um, right now?"
"Preferably."
"Couldn't we get to know each other first?" he asked weakly.
She shook her head, "I don't think so."
She swung the sword at him. B-TB tried to duck but instead got hit square in
the face by the flat of the blade.
"I don't understand." he said, "Who _are_ you? What do you want?"
The woman pointed the sword at his throat, "My name is Good-Timing Girl, and
you already know what I want."
She lunged for his jugular.
To be continued...
Bad-Timing Boy, Fuzzy, and Cheesecake Eater Lad are Public Domain.
Kid Citrus and Confetti Girl appear courtesy of Mike Escutia (Ergh).
Bandwagon Chick is the WC of Sue Clark. Used with permission.
Ultimate Ninja appears via wReam.
Jaelle
