LNH Archives
Recent stories by lalo
2009-04-06T04:47:49+00:00http://www.lnhq.info/people/lalo/issues.atom/img/lnh-icon.png/img/lnh-icon.pngPicoCMSLNH: 58.5 #49: Cannon Fodder Triumphanthttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/492009-04-06T04:47:49+00:002009-04-06T04:47:49+00:00Lalo Martins
[One day -- maybe -- I'll remember I can't post from pan<br/>
*before* trying. *sigh]<br/>
<br/>
"What now?", asked Pantra, holding back the door to the storage<br/>
room they had just reached, after a fierce battle.<br/>
<br/>
Fodder was busy going through their stuff, which, as Pantra<br/>
promised, was in that room. He held his Secretary Box<br/>
triumphantly. "Here you are!"<br/>
<br/>
"That's not a weapon", observed Pantra.<br/>
<br/>
"No. But it can open a Bang Path back to Looniearth."<br/>
<br/>
"Fodder, we don't need reinforcements. If we can't take them,<br/>
...
LNH: 58.5 #48: Warning, Giant Marshmallow Puppies Insidehttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/482009-03-31T13:04:34+00:002009-03-31T13:04:34+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>[great. Pan still has the bug, and Thunderbird is timing out. Let's
try to post from Google then...]</p>
<p>April 404. Washing.net.ton DC.</p>
<p>"Oh my, oh my, those are some LARGE puppies", said Fan Boy.</p>
<p>"An average 50 meters from paw to shoulder, large enough to
cause considerable damage simply by stepping on things",
Analytic analyzed.</p>
<p>"They're so adooooooooooooooorable!", squeed Bandwagon Chick.</p>
<p>"They're a klick away, but I can feel the sugar rush from here.
And the smell is overpowering", said Contraption Boy.
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #47: Iz In Ur Sequelz Swechin Ur Baytzhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/472009-03-11T20:01:42+00:002009-03-11T20:01:42+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>This issue is drawn by an artist heavily influenced by Alan
Davis, so when I describe a scene, imagine Alan Davis drawing
it. Here we go then.</p>
<p>Earth 308.</p>
<p>We're in a beach; there's nobody in sight. I'm not talking
about the gorgeous entertainment spots that the word "beach"
evokes for most people, in most places, especially California
Hawaii, or the Caribbean; I'm thinking more along the lines of
the miserable gray-ish sad places you'll find, for example, in
the British coast. There's way too many little stones in the
sand, and the sea is a bit too dirty to swim in.</p>
<p>Now. You know the BANG sound you get when you pop a balloon or
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #46: I Can't Help It, The Characters, They Just Keep Cominghttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/462009-02-28T19:07:15+00:002009-02-28T19:07:15+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>[trying once from Thunderbird to see if the issue is with Pan]</p>
<p>No recap this issue; if you want to know what's going on, pick
up #45, it's all recap. Well, not really, but pretty much.</p>
<p>In an universe two floors down and a little to the left, most
net.a.human (or "enhanced", as they call it) activity is
centered around a large city in the Northwest coast of the Union
States of Columbia, a sprawling urban wonder called-- Manhattan.</p>
<p>Facing their Central Park, on the West side, there is a large
building in classical style, a monument to "enhanced" heroes
past and present, the "Mansion of Justice", headquarters to this
world's premier enhanced hero team: the Old School.</p>
<p>...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #45 Who Cares If Anyone Reads This, I'm Going To Finish It!http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/452009-02-27T17:09:14+00:002009-02-27T17:09:14+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>April 385th.</p>
<p>The New Misfits looked at the dead, blackened forms of the Acla
Fright, as they fell, lifeless; but Smoke Ring Girl's stood
still where they had last seen her alive, still kneeling over
Forbidden Lore's dead body, hands clenched where the other girl's
neck used to be. Wally made a movement towards her, but then she
crumbled to thin, grey ash.</p>
<p>"Holy ~&*&#$#~", said Pantra.</p>
<p>(BANG!), made something in the back of the room. The New
Misfits who were conscious and alive snapped to attention,
expecting another surprise attack.</p>
<p>...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #44 This One Written By The Lalo From Evilversehttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/442008-06-08T07:10:59+00:002008-06-08T07:10:59+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>It's April 385th. For 19 days, Cannon Fodder has been crossing
universes, looking for the one the Xinerama Brotherhood uses as
their base of operations. The New Misfits have been searching
for the Time Crapper, who apparently has the Ultimate Gnab, an
universe-killing weapon created by the Evilverse LNH. Pantra,
the foul-mouthed, badly-behaved leopard girl who came from the
future with some of the New Misfits, has been running with them,
apparently because it gives her "more things to hit". Oh, and
the leader of the New Misfits, Blackbird, has been captured by
the Evilverse equivalent of his group, called the Acla Fright,
and replaced by his own Evilversion, Deathbird. The Acla Fright
then proceeded to interrogate and kill him. Or so they thought.</p>
<blockquote>
=============================-=============================</blockquote>
<p>...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #43 Coming Up With Bad Guys Is Not That Hardhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/432008-05-30T23:26:04+00:002008-05-30T23:26:04+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Twenty days ago, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a
Xinerama Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks
before that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest
criminal organization their world has ever seen, and <em>that</em> was
after repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.</p>
<p>But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood
is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack
again (Cannon Fodder went looking for them). The Ultimate Gnab,
the terrible Evilverse weapon which the Xinerama intended to
use, was stolen by a cloaked figure which we're assuming to be
the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed mortal enemy of the New
Misfits (who went looking for him.) And, worst of all, Pantra
decided it would be fun to stick around. OUCH, watch those
claws!
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #42 Life, the Looniverse, and Everythinghttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/422008-05-25T07:39:46+00:002008-05-25T07:39:46+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Yesterday, Cannon Fodder and the New Misfits stopped a Xinerama
Brother from imploding the Looniverse. In the weeks before
that, they dismantled the Crime Empire, the largest criminal
organization their world has ever seen, and <em>that</em> was after
repelling an invasion from the Evilverse.</p>
<p>You'd imagine they'd be very busy now tapping each other in the
back, wouldn't you?</p>
<p>But the work of a net.hero never ends. The Xinerama Brotherhood
is still out there somewhere, and they will inevitably attack
again. The Ultimate Gnab, the terrible Evilverse weapon which
the Xinerama intended to use, was stolen by a cloaked figure
which we're assuming to be the Time Crapper, self-proclaimed
mortal enemy of the New Misfits. (Yeah, go figure. We don't
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #41 Oh Yeah Baby Gnab Me Harderhttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/412008-05-23T18:30:41+00:002008-05-23T18:30:41+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Back on Sunday, April 57th 2007, Cannon Fodder's and Innovative-
Offense Boy's enjoyment of a kiwis-versus-mind-controlled-
insects battle was interrupted by a strange figure. His skin
was a deep, but reflexive black, like an LCD screen when it's
off. For hair, he had three thick strands, running from his
eyebrows to the back of his neck; one red, one green, and one
blue. His eyes were red, and he had sideburns -- green on his
right side, blue on his left. He told them he was a rogue
member of the Xinerama Brotherhood, self-appointed guardians of
the Usenetverse, and that his brothers had decided to wipe out
the Looniverse, for its annoying insistence on using
alt.comics.lnh in addition to rec.arts.comics.creative.</p>
<p>Almost an year later, or what would be an year if April wasn't
dragging on indefinitely, on April 365th, he returned. Cannon
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #40 Will I Really Destroy Everything?http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/402008-05-13T20:27:00+00:002008-05-13T20:27:00+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously in 58.5:</p>
<p>While in a campaign against the Crime Empire, the New Misfits
busted a vice den set up specially for comic book addicts; dark,
poorly-ventilated rooms, with shelves full of old issues turning
the whole place into a maze, pretty girls in costumes (well,
they look pretty in the dark, to comic junkies without a life)
serving pizza and soda, and paid trolls hanging around to
discuss the finer points of Mr. Fantastic's sex life or who'd
win in a fight between the Detective Chimp and Howard the Duck.</p>
<p>"Um", said the Amazing Amazon, "I'm not sure this is even
illegal, in fact it's kind of cool..."</p>
<p>"They don't serve Mr. Paprika", declared Blackbird. "That <em>has</em>
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #39 Yes I So *Can* Write Kid Recaphttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/392008-05-09T21:46:56+00:002008-05-09T21:46:56+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Hi! Kid Recap here. Funky numbering aside, this issue is more
or less the middle of the road for the series. So, the New
Misfits and Cannon Fodder asked me to set aside a few minutes
and bring you up to date on the story so far. If you're picking
up the series now, this is the best issue to start with. If
you're pondering whether to pick it up but intimidated by the
number, this one is for you. If you just want to recap and
refresh your memory -- and who doesn't love a recap? -- then by
all means enjoy it. If you did read everything up to now, maybe
more than once, and still have no clue what's going on, well
then, I guess this issue won't help too much, as it's exactly as
badly written as the rest. Sorry!</p>
<p>58.5 is a series of fiction stories in a shared universe called
"LNH", which stands for Legion of Net.Heroes, the premier
...</p>
Re: LNH: 58.5 #29 Look Ma I can Write Big Eventshttp://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/292008-05-07T14:27:56+00:002008-05-07T14:27:56+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>[gods, I suck, or something. Two months without posting and I
forget how to do it?]</p>
<p>In another plane of existence, a red-haired girl was intently
studying complex diagrams and practicing hand gestures. A
beast, larger and more terrible than most minds can cope with,
approached and looked at her with the pride of a master.</p>
<p>%YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED AT YOUR HOME WORLD IN A LONG TIME.%</p>
<p>"What's the point? I have much to do. And since we have
accelerated time here, every time I look it's more or less the
same thing." She didn't even look at him.</p>
<p>%IT'S NOT THE SAME THING NOW. YOU SHOULD LOOK.%
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #28http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/282008-05-04T03:54:45+00:002008-05-04T03:54:45+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously on 58.5:</p>
<p>Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 290 days.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance,
which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in
turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector
Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus).
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #27http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/272008-02-22T15:13:34+00:002008-02-22T15:13:34+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously on 58.5:</p>
<p>Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 290 days.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance,
which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in
turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector
Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus).
...</p>
LNH: 58.5 #26http://www.lnhq.info/archives/58.5/262008-02-16T04:10:24+00:002008-02-16T04:10:24+00:00Lalo Martins
<p>Previously on 58.5:</p>
<p>Since the beginning of April, one LNHer (sometimes more) was
picked as leader, every day, and disappeared at midnight. That
wouldn't be such a big deal, if it wasn't for the fact that
April has already lasted for 290 days.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, the Looniearth was invaded by an alternate LNH
from the "Evilverse". They defeated most of the remaining
members of the "real" LNH, and took over Net.ropolis. President
Luthor then decided to seal the city in a force field. The New
Misfits got stuck inside it, where they joined the Resistance,
which strangely enough, is led by the Crime Empire, which in
turn is led by Paraddox (formerly Weirdness Magnet) and Vector
Prime (a.k.a. the Melissa Virus).
...</p>